I Have an Underlying Medical Condition. The Pandemic Ends for Me May Day, 2021, Vaccinated or Not.
March 15, 2020 feels like last night, and a century ago, all at the same time. I was frantically pacing the aisles of my local Trader Joes, trying to get all the shelf stable food I could find into my cart, all the while trying to avoid getting too close to those in the store, who were all there for the same reason.
That’s the last time I left my home to go to a grocery store, restaurant, anything. Since then, it’s only been walks around my neighborhood, my in-laws back yard, or aimless drives around surrounding towns. My in-laws have been following the same regimin (in order to see my son), so for 11 months now, the only people I’ve seen face to face have been them, my wife, and son. I’ve lost a job, found a new one, renewed my love of 90s sitcoms, become a pretty big Cricket fan (thanks WillowTV), and gotten in shape.
But I’ve also lost, and regained my sanity, lost touch with friends, seen businesses I love close, and had nights when I felt that I just couldn’t stand to be in the same house as my wife, whom I love more than anything, for one day more.
This is all because I was born with Pulmonary Atresia, a very rare heart condition that, if you’ve heard of it, is only thanks to Jimmy Kimmel’s youngest son. I had 7 open heart surgeries before I was 2, four more major surgeries on my lungs and kidneys’ before I was four, and a final open heart surgery a week after my 23rd birthday. Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, I’m 35 (34 when this all started), good BMI, perfect blood pressure, otherwise good health.
We don’t really know how COVID would effect me for sure. I read about one case in a medical journal in the UK of a 27 year old with Aortic Atresia (similar, but not quite the same) who was hospitalized for 3 days but recovered fully. A doctor I spoke with told me that I’d be at heightened risk of experiencing “complications,” if I get COVID. He said my living as a shut in was wise, and I should keep doing so. So we’ve played it safe. Extremely safe.
Right now, I’m eligible in my state for the vaccine, but actually getting it is another story. Not that I had any faith in Trump, but I have barely more faith in Biden to sort this out. It seems like the country that put a man on the Moon over 50 years ago with less computing power than a already itself antiquated T-800 calculator should be able to figure out vaccine distribution, but I guess not.
I hope to get the vaccine before the nice weather returns. But if I haven’t by May 1, 2021, unless I have an appointment all lined up for the immediate future, I’m done. I’m don’t living like this. There is more to being alive than simply avoiding possible (and still pretty unlikely) death. I’ve seen both of my parents and multiple friends and co-workers get this. My 62 year old father had a scratchy throat. My 61 year old other had one dodgy night and was back to “bad cold or mild flu,” level symptoms the next day. Every one else I know has been completely fine. I have multiple friends who I’m sure have had it, just based on their behavior, but if they did, had no symptoms at all. I’m losing my fear.
My fear now is stealing more of my son’s childhood due to my heart defect. Forcing my wife into another wasted summer. Losing touch with more friends. Losing more and more of my sense what it is to experience life, in person, not through a screen. So this summer, one way or the other, I’m done with COVID.
Maintaining this lifestyle is relatively easy in February in the Northeast, when it seems like it’s dumping snow every other day. But come the Spring, my life will be in nature’s hands. I’ll wear a mask, 2 probably, for the rest of 2021 if need be. But even then, as ardent of a pro-masker as I am now, New Year’s Day 2022, the mask comes off, I don’t care what Fauci says.
Eventually, we all have to realize that risk is a part of life. What makes COVID unique is not just that it’s about twice a deadly as the regular flu. It’s that it’s new. Any day, any of us could be involved in a horrific car accident and die. We could get cancer, we could fall down the stairs and hit our heads just the wrong way. We live with these risks, in fact we hardly think of them. Yes, we take sensible precautions, wearing seatbelts, taking care of our bodies, holding the railing. But we don’t let these risks stop us from living, because we are used to them. COVID isn’t so new anymore, and I’m losing my fear of it. I hope you are too.
